September 26, 2007 FB
It was spring and the year was 2005. I was living in California with my family and on a particular Sunday we had an Olden Days Service at our church. We were all dressed up in clothes from different eras. Most were wearing puritan garb and having fun speaking in old English.
It was spring and the year was 2005. I was living in California with my family and on a particular Sunday we had an Olden Days Service at our church. We were all dressed up in clothes from different eras. Most were wearing puritan garb and having fun speaking in old English.
My dad, the pastor of our church, preached a truncated version of a sermon by John Edwards called “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God.” The main point was that the wicked person’s foot will slip and they will fall into oblivion, but God cares enough to hold them up and give them every chance to turn to him.
That day God, using an unsaved person, changed me. After the sermon we all went outside to take a picture and there was man who was living in sin and most definitely not saved. This was an unregenerate wicked sin-soaked person. He came over to me and was furious. He was scared of, and angry at God for letting his foot slip. He told me that he didn’t want to have any part of that kind of God.
I was taken back by his anger, but what was even more shocking to me was that I had no answer to give him. All I could tell him was to talk to my dad about it so he could get a better handle on it. I was so disappointed in myself for not having an answer. I even started doubting the very faith that I believed. I struggled with proof for my faith, with the disgust of people who were hypocritically self-righteous, and with why it even matters. It struck me that I needed to start learning more about God and my faith, but how? My dad has all the books I could ever want but where do I start, and how do I get myself to start?
So along came the summer, and eventually the conviction I felt started to wear off. That summer I was focusing on teaching some church kids better basketball fundamentals. Then came the news: My job as a janitor was going to be over at the end of the summer. My boss “lost” the account at the school, so I was going to be out of a job. I was glad though because I could make lot’s more money at a full-time job.
In late July my sister Elisabeth and her husband Aaron came out from Missouri to visit us. I told them about my job ending in a couple weeks and she said something that got me thinking. She said “Hey you could move out to Missouri and live with us. We miss you.” The light flickered before me! I remembered that there was a really good Bible college out there. I told her and Aaron that it could be cool to live with them and take some classes at Calvary Bible College to learn more about God, but that I didn’t want to and probably wouldn’t. My sister reassured me that if I changed my mind there was always a room for me at their house. I didn’t realize it but I was so comfortable with the way my life was in California that I didn’t have any longing to change.
My mom had told me all my life that to do greater things I need to get out of my comfort zone, and she kept at me with this one. And I am glad now that she did. At the time I hated people telling me how to act, or what to do. And my mom was doing just that. But the one thing she told me that got me was that if I was doing it for God then He will take care of me.
I also talked with my dad about it and he was so helpful without even knowing it. I told him that I wanted to start reading books about God to learn to have an answer. He gave me some, but I didn’t pick them up much and grew bored with them after a few minutes of reading.
The combination of the sinful man showing me my need to learn more about my faith so I could help him, my mom telling me to get off my butt and get out into the world for God, and my dad making me realize that I need more motivation because I wouldn’t study about God in my own will power, I decided to trust God and move. I finally saw God’s sovereignty with everything. I told God that if he wants me to move out of my comfort zone and away from my Cali friends to Missouri I would, but He would have to provide because I had no idea how to be on my own.
Here comes the monkey wrench. Right about this time we had a Japanese exchange student move in with us for three weeks. And classes at Calvary started in four weeks. So we couldn’t drive out there with all my stuff until after the exchange program was over. This actually was great because it gave us a chance to get everything settled as far as having enough money to make the trip, and we even had a family in the church tell us that we could drive their van across the country. So we had more room with two vans and didn’t have to rent any trailers or anything like that.
So I moved out here to Missouri and made it in time to sign up for all my classes, and got a job right away, right? WRONG!
I tried to sign up for classes, but didn’t have a job to finance them, and definitely not enough time to get and a federal grant without taking a whole bunch of loans. I did not want to be in debt after college. I was able to sign up for two classes, but I joined them late and I could not take them for credit. So if I went for real I would have to take the classes over, but that didn’t matter to me. I moved out here to get myself to learn about God and my faith and I was gonna take at least one class no matter what. I had also started serving as a leader for the JV group at our church. I was focused on learning and serving.
Then I started practicing with the basketball team at Calvary. I had always prided myself on being great at basketball and thought it would be awesome to go to a Bible college to learn about God, and be able to be a star college basketball player. I was well on the path, and then God exercised His corrective procedures again.
I had started to focus more on basketball that I was neglecting the class stuff. I lost my focus, so God had to move me back. To my eyes this is by far the worst way God could have done it but it worked:
I got the news that my sister Elisabeth was pregnant. YAY!!! Well about a month after finding out, Elisabeth was working at the UPS store one dark night and some guys came in and held up the place. Now that’s scary enough, but guess who they used as a hostage?
It all turned out okay, but she was scared to be alone for a while after that. So God got my eyes back on what is important. Not basketball, not my new friends, not my even family (sorry sis), but learning about, growing in, and serving God alone.
It was right at this time that God opened up a temp job for me. God let me work at the UPS store with Elisabeth for the Christmas rush! I had to quit my classes and basketball, but it was great. I was able to help Elisabeth feel safer, and had lot’s of fun working with her. The temp job ended right before Christmas so I was out of a job and kind of just floating there again with no direction.
Right after Christmas break the next year (January 2006) God opened up another job for me almost immediately. Guess where? I worked AT Calvary as a janitor. I saw all these students taking classes, but I couldn’t. Then I was able to get a job at Walmart. So I was working 7 days a week at two of the most humiliating jobs in the world. But I felt like God was making me wait, so I was happy and at peace with it. I kept serving at JV and was okay with not going to school. As long as I was serving, I had worth and God was happy with me. Through the rest of that year God made everything work out so that I could go to Calvary in fall 06. It was late in the summer and I didn't think I was going to be able to go but God worked everything out in just two weeks, and I dove into it. I was able to jump through all the registration hoops, get some government funding, and afford to go debt free!
The most important questions and problems I was having with my faith are all behind me now. I know what I believe!! I know why I believe!! I know why it’s true!! I know why it is of utmost importance to share it!! Most of all God gave me the burning desire to keep on learning, growing, and serving every day, whether I’m taking classes or not. I long to be like Ezra: dedicated to learning, practicing, and teaching (Ezra 7:10).
I was in California in a pit of sorrow and God had his hand down in it the whole time just waiting for me to grab it, and I finally did. TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!
Psalm 40:1-3
I waited patiently for the LORD, and He inclined to me and heard my cry. He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, and of the miry clay. And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.
Nehemiah Ryan © 2007 FB
That day God, using an unsaved person, changed me. After the sermon we all went outside to take a picture and there was man who was living in sin and most definitely not saved. This was an unregenerate wicked sin-soaked person. He came over to me and was furious. He was scared of, and angry at God for letting his foot slip. He told me that he didn’t want to have any part of that kind of God.
I was taken back by his anger, but what was even more shocking to me was that I had no answer to give him. All I could tell him was to talk to my dad about it so he could get a better handle on it. I was so disappointed in myself for not having an answer. I even started doubting the very faith that I believed. I struggled with proof for my faith, with the disgust of people who were hypocritically self-righteous, and with why it even matters. It struck me that I needed to start learning more about God and my faith, but how? My dad has all the books I could ever want but where do I start, and how do I get myself to start?
So along came the summer, and eventually the conviction I felt started to wear off. That summer I was focusing on teaching some church kids better basketball fundamentals. Then came the news: My job as a janitor was going to be over at the end of the summer. My boss “lost” the account at the school, so I was going to be out of a job. I was glad though because I could make lot’s more money at a full-time job.
In late July my sister Elisabeth and her husband Aaron came out from Missouri to visit us. I told them about my job ending in a couple weeks and she said something that got me thinking. She said “Hey you could move out to Missouri and live with us. We miss you.” The light flickered before me! I remembered that there was a really good Bible college out there. I told her and Aaron that it could be cool to live with them and take some classes at Calvary Bible College to learn more about God, but that I didn’t want to and probably wouldn’t. My sister reassured me that if I changed my mind there was always a room for me at their house. I didn’t realize it but I was so comfortable with the way my life was in California that I didn’t have any longing to change.
My mom had told me all my life that to do greater things I need to get out of my comfort zone, and she kept at me with this one. And I am glad now that she did. At the time I hated people telling me how to act, or what to do. And my mom was doing just that. But the one thing she told me that got me was that if I was doing it for God then He will take care of me.
I also talked with my dad about it and he was so helpful without even knowing it. I told him that I wanted to start reading books about God to learn to have an answer. He gave me some, but I didn’t pick them up much and grew bored with them after a few minutes of reading.
The combination of the sinful man showing me my need to learn more about my faith so I could help him, my mom telling me to get off my butt and get out into the world for God, and my dad making me realize that I need more motivation because I wouldn’t study about God in my own will power, I decided to trust God and move. I finally saw God’s sovereignty with everything. I told God that if he wants me to move out of my comfort zone and away from my Cali friends to Missouri I would, but He would have to provide because I had no idea how to be on my own.
Here comes the monkey wrench. Right about this time we had a Japanese exchange student move in with us for three weeks. And classes at Calvary started in four weeks. So we couldn’t drive out there with all my stuff until after the exchange program was over. This actually was great because it gave us a chance to get everything settled as far as having enough money to make the trip, and we even had a family in the church tell us that we could drive their van across the country. So we had more room with two vans and didn’t have to rent any trailers or anything like that.
So I moved out here to Missouri and made it in time to sign up for all my classes, and got a job right away, right? WRONG!
I tried to sign up for classes, but didn’t have a job to finance them, and definitely not enough time to get and a federal grant without taking a whole bunch of loans. I did not want to be in debt after college. I was able to sign up for two classes, but I joined them late and I could not take them for credit. So if I went for real I would have to take the classes over, but that didn’t matter to me. I moved out here to get myself to learn about God and my faith and I was gonna take at least one class no matter what. I had also started serving as a leader for the JV group at our church. I was focused on learning and serving.
Then I started practicing with the basketball team at Calvary. I had always prided myself on being great at basketball and thought it would be awesome to go to a Bible college to learn about God, and be able to be a star college basketball player. I was well on the path, and then God exercised His corrective procedures again.
I had started to focus more on basketball that I was neglecting the class stuff. I lost my focus, so God had to move me back. To my eyes this is by far the worst way God could have done it but it worked:
I got the news that my sister Elisabeth was pregnant. YAY!!! Well about a month after finding out, Elisabeth was working at the UPS store one dark night and some guys came in and held up the place. Now that’s scary enough, but guess who they used as a hostage?
It all turned out okay, but she was scared to be alone for a while after that. So God got my eyes back on what is important. Not basketball, not my new friends, not my even family (sorry sis), but learning about, growing in, and serving God alone.
It was right at this time that God opened up a temp job for me. God let me work at the UPS store with Elisabeth for the Christmas rush! I had to quit my classes and basketball, but it was great. I was able to help Elisabeth feel safer, and had lot’s of fun working with her. The temp job ended right before Christmas so I was out of a job and kind of just floating there again with no direction.
Right after Christmas break the next year (January 2006) God opened up another job for me almost immediately. Guess where? I worked AT Calvary as a janitor. I saw all these students taking classes, but I couldn’t. Then I was able to get a job at Walmart. So I was working 7 days a week at two of the most humiliating jobs in the world. But I felt like God was making me wait, so I was happy and at peace with it. I kept serving at JV and was okay with not going to school. As long as I was serving, I had worth and God was happy with me. Through the rest of that year God made everything work out so that I could go to Calvary in fall 06. It was late in the summer and I didn't think I was going to be able to go but God worked everything out in just two weeks, and I dove into it. I was able to jump through all the registration hoops, get some government funding, and afford to go debt free!
The most important questions and problems I was having with my faith are all behind me now. I know what I believe!! I know why I believe!! I know why it’s true!! I know why it is of utmost importance to share it!! Most of all God gave me the burning desire to keep on learning, growing, and serving every day, whether I’m taking classes or not. I long to be like Ezra: dedicated to learning, practicing, and teaching (Ezra 7:10).
I was in California in a pit of sorrow and God had his hand down in it the whole time just waiting for me to grab it, and I finally did. TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!
Psalm 40:1-3
I waited patiently for the LORD, and He inclined to me and heard my cry. He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, and of the miry clay. And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.
Nehemiah Ryan © 2007 FB
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